I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
