Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
