I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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