you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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