Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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