Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
