So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
