Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Congratulations! We have a period
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
