Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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