Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
