I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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