Christians are straight up FREAKS
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's never too late to be topless.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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