How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
