you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
