cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
