I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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