So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
