But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
