At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
