she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
