You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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