you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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