protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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