I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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