You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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