Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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