We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
