Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
