i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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