My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
