I'd wear matching sweaters with you
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
