dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
