the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
