So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
