toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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