that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
third nipple confirmed
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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