That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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