So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
