So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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