I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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