HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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