Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
