that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
