I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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