i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We need to rekindle our bromance
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
