She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
