You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
