If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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