your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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