What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
