I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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