It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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