do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
